Life has never been easy for me. From when I was younger to the time I was in high school. It all started out with me deciding to move in with my parents when I was moving into grade six, instead of staying with my grandparents. The reason behind it was that I wanted to experience what it was like to have a normal family and for people, excluding me, because my mom and dad weren’t around. They would feel bad since they weren’t around and because they knew what they did. I live in a small town where my dad’s family is known for being gang members and drug runners and my mom’s biological family is known for drugs and drug using. It got so bad that I soon followed in there footsteps. I became a gang member and I would get in fights and I would sell drugs.
Middle school came along and at that time I was abandoned by my older brother and sister, including my parents. I tried living on my own and I did. It worked, but I would still be doing my thing to where I would get suspended from school for fighting and stuff like that. It came to the point by the end of 8th grade that I was no longer wanting to do what I was doing. People had talked to me about going to church and stuff like that, but I was never into it because I believed if God was real, he wouldn’t have let all the bad things and stuff I did happen. Somehow he found a way. When I moved back with my grandparents freshman year in high school they forced me to go to this church and the youth events every week. I didn’t want to go and they would make me go. Finally, they told me “hey if you go to this big event they are doing and don’t like it you don’t have to go.” I went and that weekend changed my life. I made friends that were good ones and I started to see that God had let all that stuff happen for me to get to this moment.
I accepted Jesus and started doing His will with the help of my youth pastors. They helped me out with a lot. I would still get in fights here and there during freshman and sophomore year and they would bail me out and help me control my anger. I had anger problems because I wondered why my mom and dad left me from when I was baby to middle school, then stay for awhile then leave. I started to want to commit suicide and I did, but I failed and it was something that always bothered me. If it wasn’t for that experience, I wouldn’t be who I am now.
What I’ve learned is to never give up, because when you want to give up that is when a champion is made. And if anyone reads this, I want them to know that wherever you come from, you may feel alone, broke, and hurting but God is always going to be there ready to help when you ask Him and let Him.
Life is crazy and it always will be and one of my favorite sayings is, “if you’re crazy in a mad world, it doesn’t mean that you’re just sane. This means that life is going to beat you up and people will turn on you, while everything feels like it will go against you, but if you fight back and be who you truly are you are not making the world worse but better. I say to you and anyone listening to never give up, because with every bad thing there is a blessing right around the corner. Some may love me some may hate me but with God on my side who can stop me?